it wakes me.
The calling is loud,
so very persuasive.
It invades my mind,
my thoughts, my feelings.
It's all I think about,
it's all I yearn.
I feel it burn,
I feel it beat.
My blood is thick,
it's boiling.
My muscles tense,
my jaw tightens.
I'm standing, sitting.
I'm running.
It's the only thing I see,
everything else is a whisper.
It's the only thing I feel,
everything else, the wind.
Don't get in its way,
you cannot stop it.
Dont' reason with it,
It's made its choice.
It doesn't ask,
it takes.
It doesn't wait,
it does.
And once at the peak,
It'll climb higher.
And higher.
And higher.
...so step aside.
Pedro Alejandro Wunderlich
Pedro, I really like your poem! I love all the imagery that you use with your blood boiling and how everything else is a whisper. I feel like I am right there with you feeling motiviation as well. I also like that you titled it "Motiviation" because it lets the reader know what you are talking about and I like that you dont say it in the poem itself. I also like how you separated each stanza because it helps to separate each body part that is taken over by the feeling of motivation. Beautifully written!
ReplyDeletePedro,
ReplyDeleteThis poem is so cool. The imagery is wonderful and the consistent line length allows you so say a lot with little words. I got what you wanted to say in this poem and found it to be very relatable. I really like your word choices and use of punctuation. It I had to change anything it would be the "Dont'" in the 6th stanza. I would change it to the proper punctuation "don't" to make it more consistent with the poem. Also, I would take you the ... in the last line, "so step aside." It is stronger without it and makes more of an "in your face" statement.
Anyways, loved it and great work.
Pedro,
ReplyDeleteI loved how you personified motivation throughout the whole thing, because it really captures how motivation works in people. I agree with Sarah Marie, in that the imagery in this poem is exquisite.
My suggestion would be to change the line from "I'm standing, sitting" to "I'm sitting, standing" in order to show the progression that motivation takes on.
Overall it was a great poem and I felt the intensity throughout and your last line was fantastic!